Hey,
I hope you're all really really well and happy:). It's almost new year and so I hope you've had a lovely and magical one, but that your 2017 is even better.
I realised tonight (sorry if I'm deep but I don't know, I just think a lot), that recently when I've been writing I feel like I'm not writing how I feel. Like, I am to an extent, but I think because I'm aware, through sharing this on social media, that people actually sometimes read it that I change my style to maybe entertain more? You can't actually begin to imagine how completely blown away and humbled this makes me feel as.. To just take time out of your day to read my waffle is so so lovely. Thank you so much.
But, I'm writing tonight after feeling parculiar for quite some time. By this I don't mean depressed or scared or lonely just... Not myself... Not in touch with me if that makes sense? I get that from time to time. Sometimes I feel not 'me' and every single time I realise that it's when I'm getting a little bit too big for my boots, a little too materialistic or just, I don't know, stupid. I realise that if I'm not going to be myself, to me there is no point in writing at all and so I vow to try and always be me from this day on. There may be times when I'm sad or frustrated and chose not to put this, but I wouldn't be lying, I'd just rather focus on the good things. Life is wonderful after all, and everyone feels off at times and it's usually when I feel poorly, which I'm pretty sure is normal.
Anyway, this means that I'm going back to how I did blogging before, as a means of expressing what I can't always express. This means it may come across self centred but I really wish it doesn't. I'd rather write about self centred feelings though I guess, if it means I can focus on others in every other aspect of my life.
Well, I do ramble don't i?! ;)
What I really want to talk about is poetry. Sometimes by reading a poem it brings me back to me. It's kind of like my belief in God that I never talk about, but is part of me. It's just kind of there.
So I read a few poems by my favourite poet, who wasn't even classed as a poet, but an actor, Richard Beckinsale. And this has made me want to write, so here is a poem I cannot chose a name for:
Untitled poem
I really don't know where I went
Turning to social media surely isn't the way to vent
Judging myself by well lit rooms
Scanning the happiness or doom and gloom
I don't know what happened it really isn't me
To stress over the smallest things and get angry
Sometimes I get lost in it all
Wanting to impress, whilst feeling small
I don't know why, I'm really unsure
Confidence is an act when your eyes sweep the floor
But don't you see it doesn't need to be like this
The people that know you, understand the shift
Between being you and that stranger who seeks
Approval at pictures make up or meek
Bragging or almost, sometimes it seems,
You're not this girl, stop it, please.
I love to laugh and sing and dance
And really not care and love and prance
and never stop looking at the stars
As up there it seems there are no bars
Of health or pity or anger or fear
But living for the second and embracing the dear
I am blessed
I cannot believe
All that I have is more than I need
As I wake each day to love and warmth and comfort and content
I wish to admire and learn and invent
New ways of being happy
Of starting with a smile
And walking each step in sunshiney style.
Have a lovely evening,
Love,
Molly xxx
Friday, 30 December 2016
Tuesday, 27 December 2016
Hope your break is really lovely! Ft festive fiascos
Morning,
Alas, for once I'm writing early as opposed to around midnight so if anything else, this may flow better. (Don't hold your breath there lads).
Firstly, I hope you've had the nicest Christmas and Boxing Day ever! Christmas has got to be my absolute favourite time of year ever, mainly because you get to mull about with loved ones, eat copious amounts of food and have a proper natter with those you've haven't seen for soooo long! It's really lovely, and I feel very blessed for my loved ones, especially when I know many are alone at Christmas, and so I hope those people have had cheer and laughter also <3. My Christmas Eve to day, meant that I visited one of my absolute best friend's for a family party, before going to my childhood church for midnight mass. Our family aren't particularly religious in general, but it was completely magical. I live in a small English countryside town and everyone knows each other if you've always gone to school here. It's completely lovely and it was so lovely after mass to bump into a lad and his Mum whom we've all known since I went to primary school. I think perhaps that's what Christmas is about, bringing yourself back to you. Your family, your roots and your oldest and best friends<3. Anyway... Getting so soppy!
I better get up soon. Me and the family are braving the post-boxing day sales in Birmingham, so I can't lounge all day even if it is very appealing :D...If you've ever been to the Christmas time sales you know that they are a absolute nightmare at the best of times. Despite all the sheer hard work of retail staff over this period, nothing is where it normally should be. I swear I've seen people literally pick up an item and literally disperse it ten yards away when they've changed their mind, but hey ho, gotta' love a challenge ;). I'm not really sure if I need to buy anything, but it's always nice having a mooch round the shops, or in my Mum's case, what seems to be a full blown list of everywhere she wants to go ;). (Nah, she's not that bad, I'm probably worse:P!)
Before I go I thought I'd better post a song, and as I haven't already this year, I wanted to post a Christmas song. After hearing the very sad news of the passing of George Michael, it's got to be a bit of Wham "Last Christmas"!
Have the best day,
Molly xxx
Alas, for once I'm writing early as opposed to around midnight so if anything else, this may flow better. (Don't hold your breath there lads).
Firstly, I hope you've had the nicest Christmas and Boxing Day ever! Christmas has got to be my absolute favourite time of year ever, mainly because you get to mull about with loved ones, eat copious amounts of food and have a proper natter with those you've haven't seen for soooo long! It's really lovely, and I feel very blessed for my loved ones, especially when I know many are alone at Christmas, and so I hope those people have had cheer and laughter also <3. My Christmas Eve to day, meant that I visited one of my absolute best friend's for a family party, before going to my childhood church for midnight mass. Our family aren't particularly religious in general, but it was completely magical. I live in a small English countryside town and everyone knows each other if you've always gone to school here. It's completely lovely and it was so lovely after mass to bump into a lad and his Mum whom we've all known since I went to primary school. I think perhaps that's what Christmas is about, bringing yourself back to you. Your family, your roots and your oldest and best friends<3. Anyway... Getting so soppy!
I better get up soon. Me and the family are braving the post-boxing day sales in Birmingham, so I can't lounge all day even if it is very appealing :D...If you've ever been to the Christmas time sales you know that they are a absolute nightmare at the best of times. Despite all the sheer hard work of retail staff over this period, nothing is where it normally should be. I swear I've seen people literally pick up an item and literally disperse it ten yards away when they've changed their mind, but hey ho, gotta' love a challenge ;). I'm not really sure if I need to buy anything, but it's always nice having a mooch round the shops, or in my Mum's case, what seems to be a full blown list of everywhere she wants to go ;). (Nah, she's not that bad, I'm probably worse:P!)
Before I go I thought I'd better post a song, and as I haven't already this year, I wanted to post a Christmas song. After hearing the very sad news of the passing of George Michael, it's got to be a bit of Wham "Last Christmas"!
Molly xxx
Monday, 19 December 2016
Thoughts
Hiya,
Tonight, despite writing a little 'sign off for Christmas' post, I feel like writing and so will probably post this at some point in the new year :D. Seriously I am a muppet at times, I forget that sometimes I don't write to keep a regular time scale in blogging, most of the time I find myself writing when I don't have the physical energy to swim (something that I love as much as music), and need a way to get feelings out in a (hopefully) productive way.
I don't want this post to be pessimistic at all. It's just my thoughts and musings on situations. It may get a little deep - but y know me.. I'm a bit of a tangent maker :D.
I'm just thinking about life and growing up.
When you go to school, in a generic education, you are placed with people in a institutional environment for a good 16 years. Then a further few year after this of course, if you chose the higher education pathway. In this time, with the people who share your birth year (pretty much), you grow and develop. Through all having the same stimulus'. This is why, I understand, along with the fun and lack of responsibility, school days are described as the best of your life. I don't know, I'm pretty sure life can be brilliant at all ages, but you've got to agree, there's nothing quite like the regularity of school. I personally loved school, I met most of my close friends there and it definitely made me, me. But likewise, I recognise the brilliance of freedom growing up brings also.
Anyway, what I mean to say is that after this very long phase of your life, you have choices. Either, continue education, apply for an apprenticeship or go into full/part time work. This is when, the people whom you grew with, now make their own decisions that form their lives and this puts you on slightly different pathways. This is slightly sad but ultimately wonderful as, after all, we only want each other to succeed and this change makes us who we are and become. There is also excitement in this change, for new friendships, relationships and choices present themselves.
However, the thing I'm struggling with is, I'm sure a situation felt by many. If for some reason through health or personal circumstances, you fall out of this 'loop', you are already on a completely different path to your peers. Incredibly daunting and deeply shocking this may feel (you always expect to do things in the same pattern as others do things), you learn that there are many opportunities brought by change and for me, the people I've met that I wouldn't of met and this makes me feel so grateful. (Although of course I would swap the old situation of doing things at the same time as my peers, with doing it my own way any day, it is what it is.).
I'm forever emensely happy for my friends, that they are doing all that they ever wanted to do. That they are achieving brilliant things fills me with so much joy I could completely burst. I would never want those friends to worry if I'm not right behind them in my path, I will make sure I get there in my own way, and they've got to focus on reaching their goals. However I am writing tonight just because understanding how you are on a different path, completely without any power or choice in the matter, is one of the hardest thing I've come to accept. I WILL get there, I will do my best to achieve above what I could possibly imagine to achieve. If I feel poorly often, how can I impose pressures from when I was well? It's simply foolish. If I feel better I will do more. If I feel worse I will do what I am able. Even though I write so 'matter of fact' in that I've had to accept this is how it is, there is still a great pain in this, but one that will fade the stronger I get, when I am able to do more and achieve what I can without physical restraints.
But I do not want this to be seen in a depressing way, it is very sad that I feel I am capable of so much more than I can often show, but every day that I can do something, surely that's worth the stars anyway :).
I am constantly humbled by people who are far more restricted than I am, but continue to live and achieve. You can always achieve SOMETHING. Whether it be to read a book or gain a Nobel prize, these goals could've been set by the same person at different times of their life based on their health or age I suppose (everybody has to start somewhere anyway).
I guess what I am saying is always be proud of what you can do and don't compare it to what the person next to you can do, you are completely different and uniquely talented beings.
Thank you so much for reading this,
I hope it's made sense in a positive observation, rather than negative and that to achieve is wonderful in any sense.
Lots of love,
Molly xxx
Tonight, despite writing a little 'sign off for Christmas' post, I feel like writing and so will probably post this at some point in the new year :D. Seriously I am a muppet at times, I forget that sometimes I don't write to keep a regular time scale in blogging, most of the time I find myself writing when I don't have the physical energy to swim (something that I love as much as music), and need a way to get feelings out in a (hopefully) productive way.
I don't want this post to be pessimistic at all. It's just my thoughts and musings on situations. It may get a little deep - but y know me.. I'm a bit of a tangent maker :D.
I'm just thinking about life and growing up.
When you go to school, in a generic education, you are placed with people in a institutional environment for a good 16 years. Then a further few year after this of course, if you chose the higher education pathway. In this time, with the people who share your birth year (pretty much), you grow and develop. Through all having the same stimulus'. This is why, I understand, along with the fun and lack of responsibility, school days are described as the best of your life. I don't know, I'm pretty sure life can be brilliant at all ages, but you've got to agree, there's nothing quite like the regularity of school. I personally loved school, I met most of my close friends there and it definitely made me, me. But likewise, I recognise the brilliance of freedom growing up brings also.
Anyway, what I mean to say is that after this very long phase of your life, you have choices. Either, continue education, apply for an apprenticeship or go into full/part time work. This is when, the people whom you grew with, now make their own decisions that form their lives and this puts you on slightly different pathways. This is slightly sad but ultimately wonderful as, after all, we only want each other to succeed and this change makes us who we are and become. There is also excitement in this change, for new friendships, relationships and choices present themselves.
However, the thing I'm struggling with is, I'm sure a situation felt by many. If for some reason through health or personal circumstances, you fall out of this 'loop', you are already on a completely different path to your peers. Incredibly daunting and deeply shocking this may feel (you always expect to do things in the same pattern as others do things), you learn that there are many opportunities brought by change and for me, the people I've met that I wouldn't of met and this makes me feel so grateful. (Although of course I would swap the old situation of doing things at the same time as my peers, with doing it my own way any day, it is what it is.).
I'm forever emensely happy for my friends, that they are doing all that they ever wanted to do. That they are achieving brilliant things fills me with so much joy I could completely burst. I would never want those friends to worry if I'm not right behind them in my path, I will make sure I get there in my own way, and they've got to focus on reaching their goals. However I am writing tonight just because understanding how you are on a different path, completely without any power or choice in the matter, is one of the hardest thing I've come to accept. I WILL get there, I will do my best to achieve above what I could possibly imagine to achieve. If I feel poorly often, how can I impose pressures from when I was well? It's simply foolish. If I feel better I will do more. If I feel worse I will do what I am able. Even though I write so 'matter of fact' in that I've had to accept this is how it is, there is still a great pain in this, but one that will fade the stronger I get, when I am able to do more and achieve what I can without physical restraints.
But I do not want this to be seen in a depressing way, it is very sad that I feel I am capable of so much more than I can often show, but every day that I can do something, surely that's worth the stars anyway :).
I am constantly humbled by people who are far more restricted than I am, but continue to live and achieve. You can always achieve SOMETHING. Whether it be to read a book or gain a Nobel prize, these goals could've been set by the same person at different times of their life based on their health or age I suppose (everybody has to start somewhere anyway).
I guess what I am saying is always be proud of what you can do and don't compare it to what the person next to you can do, you are completely different and uniquely talented beings.
Thank you so much for reading this,
I hope it's made sense in a positive observation, rather than negative and that to achieve is wonderful in any sense.
Lots of love,
Molly xxx
Thursday, 15 December 2016
Just have the best Christmas ever
Hey,
I know I've written a lot in this past week but I just want to take the time to say Happy Christmas to anyone who reads this! Hope you have the loveliest day and that it finds you really well and happy! <3
Feeling really blessed for all the lovely people out there, and I think that's what Christmas is all about, whether you celebrate or not, just helping each other and spending time with loved ones <3
Looking forward to writing in 2017,
Sending loads of love,
Have the bestest time,
Molly xxx
Wednesday, 14 December 2016
T. Rex - Get it on - Bang a gongggggg
Hey,
Today is one of them days that means you just want to put your headphones in and just chill. I'm in that mood when my whole day could literally be music and I'd be as happy as a girl with a chocolate cake or something (absolutely STUNNING comparison there mol;) ).
I'm desperate for some new music to enter my life but recently, it's been a bit same-y. Not that it's a bad thing, but I love that feeling of discovering a new band and then listening to every album they ever did for about three weeks straight. When I was thirteen I got back into the Beatles (they'd always been there, through my Dads's absolute complete and utter undying love for them :D, but when I was thirteen I got an album of all the number one's they'd ever had in the UK and the states). I played their album non stop for literally a month, I visited Liverpool mainly to see the cavern and I was hooked :D. I guess I still am, and despite always trying to listen to up and coming bands I'm always pulled back to them four lads from Liverpool.
Alas, as my music experience is a not as 'experiencey' as I'd like right now, I thought I better post some of the classics, as you know what it's nearly Christmas! Glad ya' glad rags on and enjoy yourselves! :D This is T.Rex's Get it on- bang a gong :D
Omg I've just realised my two best friends are back from uni this weekend! Eeek, it feels like I haven't seen em' in forever!! I hope you've got some lovely things planned too?!
Take care,
I'll write soon :)
Molly xxx
Today is one of them days that means you just want to put your headphones in and just chill. I'm in that mood when my whole day could literally be music and I'd be as happy as a girl with a chocolate cake or something (absolutely STUNNING comparison there mol;) ).
I'm desperate for some new music to enter my life but recently, it's been a bit same-y. Not that it's a bad thing, but I love that feeling of discovering a new band and then listening to every album they ever did for about three weeks straight. When I was thirteen I got back into the Beatles (they'd always been there, through my Dads's absolute complete and utter undying love for them :D, but when I was thirteen I got an album of all the number one's they'd ever had in the UK and the states). I played their album non stop for literally a month, I visited Liverpool mainly to see the cavern and I was hooked :D. I guess I still am, and despite always trying to listen to up and coming bands I'm always pulled back to them four lads from Liverpool.
Alas, as my music experience is a not as 'experiencey' as I'd like right now, I thought I better post some of the classics, as you know what it's nearly Christmas! Glad ya' glad rags on and enjoy yourselves! :D This is T.Rex's Get it on- bang a gong :D
Omg I've just realised my two best friends are back from uni this weekend! Eeek, it feels like I haven't seen em' in forever!! I hope you've got some lovely things planned too?!
Take care,
I'll write soon :)
Molly xxx
Monday, 12 December 2016
If by Rudyard Kipling
Hey,
It's such a nice evening tonight isn't it? I'm loving the sunsets at the moment, it's like someone's just got a huge paintbrush, dipped it in pinks and coppers and kind of swished it about the sky and it's so beautiful. I'm finally feeling quite a bit better and I don't want to jinx it, I just think it's nice to be able to say! Thank goodness I actually get on with my family, else it'd be like the reinactment of Beetle juice or something, with them trying to get me out of the house :P.
I hope that whoever reads this is well too, and of course has watched Beetlejuice else I won't make any sense at all...
Everyday I'm constantly inspired to write about people. I think, sure there's some bad eggs out there, but I love how lovely people can be. It's so interesting to see how, growing up, through learning things and getting scared of things we get a little tougher and then someone sees a kitten and their inner softie comes out. It's lovely :D and I feel proper blessed to meet such people! Anyway soppiness over:D.
I'm really posting about a poem I read today that I hadn't read in ages and so I wanted to post it. It's very famous so you've probably heard of it, but if by chance you haven't, here it is. It's quite long but definitely worth reading if you stick with it:).
(Curtesy of thepoetryassociation.org)
'If' by Rudyard Kipling
It's such a nice evening tonight isn't it? I'm loving the sunsets at the moment, it's like someone's just got a huge paintbrush, dipped it in pinks and coppers and kind of swished it about the sky and it's so beautiful. I'm finally feeling quite a bit better and I don't want to jinx it, I just think it's nice to be able to say! Thank goodness I actually get on with my family, else it'd be like the reinactment of Beetle juice or something, with them trying to get me out of the house :P.
I hope that whoever reads this is well too, and of course has watched Beetlejuice else I won't make any sense at all...
Everyday I'm constantly inspired to write about people. I think, sure there's some bad eggs out there, but I love how lovely people can be. It's so interesting to see how, growing up, through learning things and getting scared of things we get a little tougher and then someone sees a kitten and their inner softie comes out. It's lovely :D and I feel proper blessed to meet such people! Anyway soppiness over:D.
I'm really posting about a poem I read today that I hadn't read in ages and so I wanted to post it. It's very famous so you've probably heard of it, but if by chance you haven't, here it is. It's quite long but definitely worth reading if you stick with it:).
(Curtesy of thepoetryassociation.org)
'If' by Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
I think it shows precisely how some may see life as a hard and complex thing, that's hard to fathom (which it probably is!) whilst others understand there's no such thing as perfection and that's what kipling's implicitly presenting, that you can't set all these goals for yourself just go with the Flo..? I don't know?? Don't ask me, that's just how I saw it, the author could have meant something completely different and I'm barking up the wrong tree. Plus I don't know which way is the right way to see both options anyway?? Very deep ahaha :D. But I do know that it is beautiful and, I think very true. It never fails to amaze me how someone can write so beautifully, yet still have this amazing rhyming scheme and pace- that could surpass any wizarding skills I think ;). I think I read the poem first a year ago and it's one of those that I think you can look back on and see new things.
Have the best evening ever, and why are you reading my thoughts on poetry?! Whack on some Wham it's Christmas! ;)
Thank you so much for reading,
Molly xxx
Monday, 5 December 2016
P.O.T.S reading
Hiya,
Tonight I want to talk about P.O.T.S - That is Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. A chronic and often debilitating condition that affects thousands of people in England alone.
Wikipedia (as on 5/12/16) explains P.O.T.S:
Tonight I want to talk about P.O.T.S - That is Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. A chronic and often debilitating condition that affects thousands of people in England alone.
Wikipedia (as on 5/12/16) explains P.O.T.S:
"Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS, also known as postural tachycardia syndrome) is a condition in which a change from the supine position to an upright position causes an abnormally large increase in heart rate, called tachycardia. Other symptoms of an orthostatic nature—occurring in response to upright posture—may accompany the tachycardia.[1]
The causes of POTS are poorly understood, and it is likely that several distinct underlying problems can lead to the symptoms of POTS.[2] A variety of treatments, including exercise and medications, can improve symptoms for the majority of people with POTS. Many experience "a reasonable recovery with recovery defined as the relative absence of orthostatic symptoms alone with the ability to perform the activities of daily living with minimal restriction", while in others the condition persists indefinitely.[3] It has been estimated that there are between 500,000 and 3,000,000 people with POTS in the United States alone."
It's a condition that is still widely Unknown, but everyday is undergoing emense research, into finding relief and ultimately a cure for sufferers. Doctors are constantly becoming aware of the condition and diagnosis is becoming a little easier for patients, although there's still a long way to go. This is due to the ignorance around the condition, and that, many doctors to not know to look for signs in patients.
Tonight, after seeing a consultant around a persistent sinus infection - another symptom of pots is being prone to infection and struggling to recover- He explained that he actually read a report on P.O.T.S for the first time only last week and he is interested in how it affects patients. After explaining that I blog and speak frequently about the condition, he encouraged me to continue doing so and raise awareness. This is the main reason I do write, as well as finding it therapeutic whilst feeling ill with symptoms, it makes me feel better knowing that just one person might know a little bit more than they did before.
Take care,
Thank you for reading,
Molly xxx
Sources
Wikipedia - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postural_orthostatic_tachycardia_syndrome
Pots uk - http://www.potsuk.org
Nhs choices definition of Pots- http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/postural-tachycardia-syndrome/Pages/Introduction.aspx
Disautonomia website explaining pots (autonomic disfunction) - http://www.dysautonomiainternational.org/page.php?ID=30
Saturday, 3 December 2016
Poetry
Hey,
Sorry for the late posts, I really want to be asleep but my mind stays awake longer than my body evidently :( :D.
Right now I'm in the mood, not to talk but to learn. When I'm like this and it's too late to have a deep conversation, as most people are sleeping, I think poetry is the best thing.
Having briefly read a few poems, I've picked this one out at random;
'A dream within a dream'
By Edgar Allan Poe
Sorry for the late posts, I really want to be asleep but my mind stays awake longer than my body evidently :( :D.
Right now I'm in the mood, not to talk but to learn. When I'm like this and it's too late to have a deep conversation, as most people are sleeping, I think poetry is the best thing.
Having briefly read a few poems, I've picked this one out at random;
'A dream within a dream'
By Edgar Allan Poe
Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow--
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow--
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.
I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand--
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep--while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand--
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep--while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?
I'm just, on first and ever reading, fascinated by the illusiveness that is a 'dream within a dream'. A state that must be entirely certain and positively uncertain at the same time. You grasp for something that is so seemingly unattainable that you have to produce one dream in order to get to the second? Or it may be an entirely different case altogether, that's just my interpretation. I know absolutely nothing about Allan Poe, but the rhythmic pace this poem adapts is somehow comforting. Like a story told many times, both out loud and in thought, deep rhetorical questioning forms the basis for the narrator's understanding of the situation themselves.
I feel it's undoubtedly about lost or unrequited love. It is the grasp of understanding in feelings that are too powerful for the author to comprehend... Or possibly?
I love the sand sliding through the fingers metaphor, being used as a symbol of time passing and powerlessness. I feel that, with this lack of being able to control time, the protagonist just stands, observing the beauty of everything.
So fascinating...I know I may seem like I'm completely in my own world droning on about poetry at stupid o clock, and I am, but I do find poetry so interesting. I love how my view doesn't really matter as everyone sees the meaning behind each poem differently.
Anyway, I'll sleep now I think!
Keep dreaming, but maybe in reality :)
Molly xxx
Sunday, 27 November 2016
Love, respect and be kind
Hiya,
Hope you're all doing really well,
I'm doing a quick post tonight, whilst snuggled up in bed trying to sleep. Anyone who knows me knows I hate to dwell and focus on the negatives, life's too short, but tonight I'm feeling a little bit fragile in fighting a chest/nasal infection so bare with me <3
Whilst being stuck in over the last few days, despite being too tired to study, I have begun watching YouTube videos, and there is one lady in particular who does fashion/beauty/lifestyle blogging, that is hands down fab on its own, but I also find her so relatable due to the fact that she also has M.E.
Through my own journey of being ill, there has been times when I am very aware that noone sees the suffering that can be endured. This is because you only put your 'best' pictures on social media. The ones when you're at your best, absolutely giving it everything you've got, because why shouldn't you? However because of this, it is easy to understand why people may not see your condition in its truest light. Now, there is nothing you can do about how people may interpret things. We are all guilty of lack of understanding or just not realising what a person has to deal with, though never being able to walk in their shoes, but one thing you can do is listen.
To be listened to is all anyone wants.
If you can possibly try and empathise it's even better, but just by listening you're acknowledging there's a reason to listen. And, for anyone to talk about anything (condition/problem/story/experience) there is ALWAYS a reason to listen.
We are all guilty of letting things go over our heads through busyness, but I think it should be our aim from this day forward to actively listen and try and understand anyone who wants to be heard. We should try and help, not ignore. And this help, love and compassion, should make us closer not frustrated or defeated through ignorance or powerlessness. We all have the capacity to be more than that.
Anyone who has been poorly long term will know that there is no point putting the pictures where you feel worse, up. For one, at the time of being ill, you feel too poorly to upload anything, secondly, even if you could upload you definitely don't want the world to see you temporarily defeated by this awful 'thing' that isn't really you as a person, it's just come and interrupted normal life. Thirdly, you definitely don't want to be reminded of how ill you may feel at the time, you just want normal life to resume and you certainly don't want to think of it again.
With a chronic illness, you will not go to your friends saying "oh I feel soooo ill" , you will say "I'm fine" or even "I'm good", and that's only when prompted to speak about how you feel, else you'd rather not pass judgement as, for one there's no point dwelling, and also you find people only want to hear good news and don't know what to say to the bad. Thanks okay, that's human. But it is precisely the opposite of what people need when they're ill.
People who feel fragile, poorly or drained, don't need you to move mountains (although if this got you better, they wish you could), but for you just to say, I get it, it must be so difficult, I'm sure you'll feel better tomorrow, you got this.
I think this is just what I needed to understand in dealing with ill people, before I got ill myself, and so I thought by writing about it it may show a different perspective to think about.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this,
Have a lovely night,
Love Molly xxx
Hope you're all doing really well,
I'm doing a quick post tonight, whilst snuggled up in bed trying to sleep. Anyone who knows me knows I hate to dwell and focus on the negatives, life's too short, but tonight I'm feeling a little bit fragile in fighting a chest/nasal infection so bare with me <3
Whilst being stuck in over the last few days, despite being too tired to study, I have begun watching YouTube videos, and there is one lady in particular who does fashion/beauty/lifestyle blogging, that is hands down fab on its own, but I also find her so relatable due to the fact that she also has M.E.
Through my own journey of being ill, there has been times when I am very aware that noone sees the suffering that can be endured. This is because you only put your 'best' pictures on social media. The ones when you're at your best, absolutely giving it everything you've got, because why shouldn't you? However because of this, it is easy to understand why people may not see your condition in its truest light. Now, there is nothing you can do about how people may interpret things. We are all guilty of lack of understanding or just not realising what a person has to deal with, though never being able to walk in their shoes, but one thing you can do is listen.
To be listened to is all anyone wants.
If you can possibly try and empathise it's even better, but just by listening you're acknowledging there's a reason to listen. And, for anyone to talk about anything (condition/problem/story/experience) there is ALWAYS a reason to listen.
We are all guilty of letting things go over our heads through busyness, but I think it should be our aim from this day forward to actively listen and try and understand anyone who wants to be heard. We should try and help, not ignore. And this help, love and compassion, should make us closer not frustrated or defeated through ignorance or powerlessness. We all have the capacity to be more than that.
Anyone who has been poorly long term will know that there is no point putting the pictures where you feel worse, up. For one, at the time of being ill, you feel too poorly to upload anything, secondly, even if you could upload you definitely don't want the world to see you temporarily defeated by this awful 'thing' that isn't really you as a person, it's just come and interrupted normal life. Thirdly, you definitely don't want to be reminded of how ill you may feel at the time, you just want normal life to resume and you certainly don't want to think of it again.
With a chronic illness, you will not go to your friends saying "oh I feel soooo ill" , you will say "I'm fine" or even "I'm good", and that's only when prompted to speak about how you feel, else you'd rather not pass judgement as, for one there's no point dwelling, and also you find people only want to hear good news and don't know what to say to the bad. Thanks okay, that's human. But it is precisely the opposite of what people need when they're ill.
People who feel fragile, poorly or drained, don't need you to move mountains (although if this got you better, they wish you could), but for you just to say, I get it, it must be so difficult, I'm sure you'll feel better tomorrow, you got this.
I think this is just what I needed to understand in dealing with ill people, before I got ill myself, and so I thought by writing about it it may show a different perspective to think about.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this,
Have a lovely night,
Love Molly xxx
Thursday, 17 November 2016
Catch up :)
Hey,
I'm writing today whilst watching repeats of 'The Last of The Summer Wine' on tv whilst drinking copious amounts of water and tea. Regular followers of this blog may already know I suffer from a condition called P.O.T.S, which basically makes me extremely fatigued and experience pain and discomfort due to my heart beating too fast. In the past year I've been fortunate that I haven't had many dips in health, but as its such a variable condition, you can be doing quite well and then your body just changes and suddenly you feel quite ill. Luckily with help from your P.O.T.S doctor and medication these dips aren't forever, but it's bloody annoying and pretty hard to deal with never the less. In the last two/three months it isn't so much my P.O.T.S that's causing me discomfort, although I feel it always gets worse in the cold weather strangely?? But I think I'm more run down and this is my second infection I've had in three months. I don't want to be down about it and so I'm doing more to occupy my mind whilst being too weak to do college work. For me this is, of course, blogging, but I've also joined an online group for people with my condition and it's really helping. Sometimes, because P.O.T.S is a condition is very much kept behind closed doors, in aim of living a reasonably 'normal' life, you can sometimes feel isolated in people's lack of understanding when you can't do something, or don't have the energy to socialise. (Despite how much you want to!). These groups are great as you realise there's literally thousands of people all over the world experiencing what you experience and it means you feel like you are not alone, you're not moaning and others feel the same.
This week, I've also done something I've wanted to do for ages and that's buy a professional camera. My mum is on a 'buy it, sell it, swap it' group on Facebook and a wonderful canon camera flashed up the other night whilst cosying by the fire. Within half an hour we were at the gentleman who was sellings' house inspecting the article and I BROUGHT IT!!
I can't believe it as I've wanted one for so long! This means another thing I've been enjoying is getting into photography (as much as an amateur can). Sso today, despite not being able to go out I managed to wrap up and go into the garden to take some lovely pictures. I don't think there's anything better than the beauty of nature to make you realise no matter how annoying things are (being ill etc), beautiful things still go on and life is more than that!
Alls I can hope is to be better ASAP and get to attend the creative writing group I've joined (it's fab!)
It reminds me to keep smiling! It's nearly Christmas!!! Ahh are you ready?!
Hope this post finds you well and doing some pretty cool stuff too!
Molly Xxx
I'm writing today whilst watching repeats of 'The Last of The Summer Wine' on tv whilst drinking copious amounts of water and tea. Regular followers of this blog may already know I suffer from a condition called P.O.T.S, which basically makes me extremely fatigued and experience pain and discomfort due to my heart beating too fast. In the past year I've been fortunate that I haven't had many dips in health, but as its such a variable condition, you can be doing quite well and then your body just changes and suddenly you feel quite ill. Luckily with help from your P.O.T.S doctor and medication these dips aren't forever, but it's bloody annoying and pretty hard to deal with never the less. In the last two/three months it isn't so much my P.O.T.S that's causing me discomfort, although I feel it always gets worse in the cold weather strangely?? But I think I'm more run down and this is my second infection I've had in three months. I don't want to be down about it and so I'm doing more to occupy my mind whilst being too weak to do college work. For me this is, of course, blogging, but I've also joined an online group for people with my condition and it's really helping. Sometimes, because P.O.T.S is a condition is very much kept behind closed doors, in aim of living a reasonably 'normal' life, you can sometimes feel isolated in people's lack of understanding when you can't do something, or don't have the energy to socialise. (Despite how much you want to!). These groups are great as you realise there's literally thousands of people all over the world experiencing what you experience and it means you feel like you are not alone, you're not moaning and others feel the same.
This week, I've also done something I've wanted to do for ages and that's buy a professional camera. My mum is on a 'buy it, sell it, swap it' group on Facebook and a wonderful canon camera flashed up the other night whilst cosying by the fire. Within half an hour we were at the gentleman who was sellings' house inspecting the article and I BROUGHT IT!!
I can't believe it as I've wanted one for so long! This means another thing I've been enjoying is getting into photography (as much as an amateur can). Sso today, despite not being able to go out I managed to wrap up and go into the garden to take some lovely pictures. I don't think there's anything better than the beauty of nature to make you realise no matter how annoying things are (being ill etc), beautiful things still go on and life is more than that!
Alls I can hope is to be better ASAP and get to attend the creative writing group I've joined (it's fab!)
It reminds me to keep smiling! It's nearly Christmas!!! Ahh are you ready?!
Hope this post finds you well and doing some pretty cool stuff too!
Molly Xxx
Sunday, 13 November 2016
Blossoms
Hey,
I hope this post finds you really well! I feel like writing tonight,as there's a band that's caught my attention recently and I think they're rather cool. They're called Blossoms.
I'll post one of their most popular songs on here for anybody that's new to the band, but I love some of their stuff on their newest album. I haven't had time to listen to all of it but I LOVE 'From Evelyn' too, so if you can give that a look! <3
Here's 'Charlemagne' anyway :).
I can't believe how fast this month is going! Today has been nice, although I'm sleepier than usual trying to fight a chest infection (alas an even sleepier, sleepy girl :D). After paying respects at the cenotaph this morning, I went to a local artisan craft fayre. It was so lovely! Whitewashed tents lined the cobbles, as a busker belted the likes of Oasis and Kate Bush! Right up my street, it was ;). As my mum did her usual scavenge for Christmas pressies, I eyed the handmade jewellery, glass artwork and of course, the scrummy cupcakes ;). Although sadly, now being gluten and dairy free posed quite a problem on the cake front:(, however I did have some pretty banging falafel so I can't complain! :)
I absolutely love craft fayres' at this time of year, as I think they are amazing for gift ideas! I don't know about anyone else, but I think getting unique handmade presents are even nicer than normal presents and most of the time they don't need to be more expensive. There's definitely loads of talented crafty people out there and it's so inspiring!
I think I'll try and get some shut eye now, but look out for fayres near you! You may be pleasantly suprised!
Night night xxx
I hope this post finds you really well! I feel like writing tonight,as there's a band that's caught my attention recently and I think they're rather cool. They're called Blossoms.
I'll post one of their most popular songs on here for anybody that's new to the band, but I love some of their stuff on their newest album. I haven't had time to listen to all of it but I LOVE 'From Evelyn' too, so if you can give that a look! <3
I can't believe how fast this month is going! Today has been nice, although I'm sleepier than usual trying to fight a chest infection (alas an even sleepier, sleepy girl :D). After paying respects at the cenotaph this morning, I went to a local artisan craft fayre. It was so lovely! Whitewashed tents lined the cobbles, as a busker belted the likes of Oasis and Kate Bush! Right up my street, it was ;). As my mum did her usual scavenge for Christmas pressies, I eyed the handmade jewellery, glass artwork and of course, the scrummy cupcakes ;). Although sadly, now being gluten and dairy free posed quite a problem on the cake front:(, however I did have some pretty banging falafel so I can't complain! :)
I absolutely love craft fayres' at this time of year, as I think they are amazing for gift ideas! I don't know about anyone else, but I think getting unique handmade presents are even nicer than normal presents and most of the time they don't need to be more expensive. There's definitely loads of talented crafty people out there and it's so inspiring!
I think I'll try and get some shut eye now, but look out for fayres near you! You may be pleasantly suprised!
Night night xxx
Thursday, 3 November 2016
Imagination stations (lame name, that's a shame)
Hey,
Currently having a break from studies and again I just want to write. Something that won't be marked seems more fun to do somehow!
I feel at the moment like I'm making this blog a bit boring with inward thoughts, I really hope not, and I'm so sorry if that's the case - but bear with me, sure it'll get back to its normal form in no time. Strange how sometimes ya' style changes with your thoughts and its all just different.. Don't know if that makes sense?.. Anyhow' I seem to be writing more for no apparent reason. :D
I woke up today to the most beautiful view. Frost covering the ground, burnt amber garnishing the trees. It was absolutely freezing (quite literally), but I can't explain how beautiful I find things frosted over. It's almost like their preservation is calm and still and effortless and there's something cool about that. The sun was coming through enough to make everything glitter slightly, like when I used to put out 'reindeer dust' on the grass when I was eight. Like the kind you can buy from the shops around Christmas, but this is very real glitter and reminded me that Christmas is really not that far away!
It's crazy; I can remember posting around this time last year that Christmas songs had started playing in coffee shops, and whilst I think that's a few more weeks away, it makes me laugh to think its nearly here.
The big event coming up is the very poignant Remembrance Day. Every year I think its so important to go down to the cenotaph in my town, lay a poppy down and remember all those incredibly brave people who gave their lives for our freedom now. It's such a relevant, important event and one that makes me proud to do. I love seeing the awash of red of poppies over the next few weeks. It's something that beautifully emotional.
Well, I've got to go to my lesson now, but have the loveliest, happiest day - doing whatever you're doing.
(Footnote - I wrote this yesterday at college, saved it and then completely forgot to post it, better late than never ey?)
Love,
Molly xx
Currently having a break from studies and again I just want to write. Something that won't be marked seems more fun to do somehow!
I feel at the moment like I'm making this blog a bit boring with inward thoughts, I really hope not, and I'm so sorry if that's the case - but bear with me, sure it'll get back to its normal form in no time. Strange how sometimes ya' style changes with your thoughts and its all just different.. Don't know if that makes sense?.. Anyhow' I seem to be writing more for no apparent reason. :D
I woke up today to the most beautiful view. Frost covering the ground, burnt amber garnishing the trees. It was absolutely freezing (quite literally), but I can't explain how beautiful I find things frosted over. It's almost like their preservation is calm and still and effortless and there's something cool about that. The sun was coming through enough to make everything glitter slightly, like when I used to put out 'reindeer dust' on the grass when I was eight. Like the kind you can buy from the shops around Christmas, but this is very real glitter and reminded me that Christmas is really not that far away!
It's crazy; I can remember posting around this time last year that Christmas songs had started playing in coffee shops, and whilst I think that's a few more weeks away, it makes me laugh to think its nearly here.
The big event coming up is the very poignant Remembrance Day. Every year I think its so important to go down to the cenotaph in my town, lay a poppy down and remember all those incredibly brave people who gave their lives for our freedom now. It's such a relevant, important event and one that makes me proud to do. I love seeing the awash of red of poppies over the next few weeks. It's something that beautifully emotional.
Well, I've got to go to my lesson now, but have the loveliest, happiest day - doing whatever you're doing.
(Footnote - I wrote this yesterday at college, saved it and then completely forgot to post it, better late than never ey?)
Love,
Molly xx
Monday, 31 October 2016
Blogging the bed bugs away
Howdy,
Yep, you've guessed it. Wide awake again so this amounts' to a brand shiny new post.
Actually it's not a bad thing in some ways, I love blogging so maybe night time is the only time my brain feels like writing? Who knows maybe I am nocturnal?
It is Halloween after all!
Hope you ghosts, witches, wizards and warlocks have had a super crazy fun night celebrating! For the first year I've chilled in the house, put a film on and went for a late night swim- '19?!' I hear you declare 'more like ninety?!!', but hey, if the granny pants are good enough for Bridget Jones they're alright for me! Ahahaha
I feel like I haven't posted a song on here in so long and really that's what I started the blog all about in the first place, that is, music. So without further ado, I hope you like this bad boy:
Again from the Band we all probably get sick of me raving about, but the acoustic version of Cocoon by the absolute gems that are Catfish and The Bottlemen is incredible, so let me your ears kind friends,
I really hope you've had the best night,
Thank you, as always, for reading!
Molly xx
Yep, you've guessed it. Wide awake again so this amounts' to a brand shiny new post.
Actually it's not a bad thing in some ways, I love blogging so maybe night time is the only time my brain feels like writing? Who knows maybe I am nocturnal?
It is Halloween after all!
Hope you ghosts, witches, wizards and warlocks have had a super crazy fun night celebrating! For the first year I've chilled in the house, put a film on and went for a late night swim- '19?!' I hear you declare 'more like ninety?!!', but hey, if the granny pants are good enough for Bridget Jones they're alright for me! Ahahaha
I feel like I haven't posted a song on here in so long and really that's what I started the blog all about in the first place, that is, music. So without further ado, I hope you like this bad boy:
Again from the Band we all probably get sick of me raving about, but the acoustic version of Cocoon by the absolute gems that are Catfish and The Bottlemen is incredible, so let me your ears kind friends,
I really hope you've had the best night,
Thank you, as always, for reading!
Molly xx
Tuesday, 25 October 2016
Autumnal cuppas and train travel
Hey,
How're you lot?! Hope good!
I'm just chilling around the house today curtesy on half term (get in) and feel like having an electronic natter. Not much has changed for me other than in the last few weeks cutting my a level work load, as I was getting so ill. Although now it's much better and I'll be taking 2 A Levels this year and 1 next - I'm just so glad they're letting me to be honest!- so alls' good, but I'd be lying if I don't feel down that I can't go next September. Alas things, or stupid health conditions are what they are so you've just got to make the most of this time. Luckily I get on with my parents quite well so could be worse... :D
I'm not loving this weather though! I know it's autumn and yeah I know it's England, our very lush and green land, but I'll always love our sunshine summers and ice cream vans. Ah well.
It got me thinking of all the ordinary day to day things that I sort of love about this blummin' bleak weather and I came down with minestrone soup, cable knit jumpers and coffee, so not all bad eh? <3
These last few days I've been itching for, as half term means seeing all the muppets I call mates over the country. If I'm honest I'm finding it so hard without all the people I grew up with in my little town, but it's so nice to see them having epic times with some pretty epic people. I was lucky enough to visit a mate at the Uni of Warwick yesterday and I've got to say it was lovely, so clean and friendly with loads going on! We tootled round a free art gallery, mooched around some shops, hung out in her kitchen and argued with her hall friends whether it's right to put ketchup on cheese sandwiches (in my book, never). I love the freedom that train travel brings and before I know it I'm jetting to Nottingham (or train-ing to Nottigham?) next to see my lovely friend in her new second year house! It's so exciting :D.
Other than that, not much to report,
Have a lovely day whatever you're doing!
Molly xx
How're you lot?! Hope good!
I'm just chilling around the house today curtesy on half term (get in) and feel like having an electronic natter. Not much has changed for me other than in the last few weeks cutting my a level work load, as I was getting so ill. Although now it's much better and I'll be taking 2 A Levels this year and 1 next - I'm just so glad they're letting me to be honest!- so alls' good, but I'd be lying if I don't feel down that I can't go next September. Alas things, or stupid health conditions are what they are so you've just got to make the most of this time. Luckily I get on with my parents quite well so could be worse... :D
I'm not loving this weather though! I know it's autumn and yeah I know it's England, our very lush and green land, but I'll always love our sunshine summers and ice cream vans. Ah well.
It got me thinking of all the ordinary day to day things that I sort of love about this blummin' bleak weather and I came down with minestrone soup, cable knit jumpers and coffee, so not all bad eh? <3
These last few days I've been itching for, as half term means seeing all the muppets I call mates over the country. If I'm honest I'm finding it so hard without all the people I grew up with in my little town, but it's so nice to see them having epic times with some pretty epic people. I was lucky enough to visit a mate at the Uni of Warwick yesterday and I've got to say it was lovely, so clean and friendly with loads going on! We tootled round a free art gallery, mooched around some shops, hung out in her kitchen and argued with her hall friends whether it's right to put ketchup on cheese sandwiches (in my book, never). I love the freedom that train travel brings and before I know it I'm jetting to Nottingham (or train-ing to Nottigham?) next to see my lovely friend in her new second year house! It's so exciting :D.
Other than that, not much to report,
Have a lovely day whatever you're doing!
Molly xx
Tuesday, 6 September 2016
Maroon 5 - She will be loved
Hello!
For the first time ever I'm writing this with absolutely no inspiration. You see, normally I fall in love with a song and the first reaction I have is to blog it. Partly for me this is because, I love music and so decided over a year ago now that if I wanted to write anything that'd be the best thing to write about, but also because I love looking back and seeing how my taste changes, and what song that I fell in love with April last year, I'll go on to love tomorrow. It's brilliant, but then again it's music.
I feel out of conformity to post a song and so I've gone for one I always love, Maroon 5's 'She will be loved'. It's one of those that if it comes on in the car it's guaranteed that you'll all be singing (in some cases even the extremely high rifty bit at the end :D - why not I dare you?).
(Not my video so can't take the credit, but can't get the official version up here :()
Anyway while you have a little saunter to that I'll just continue to completely ramble on until I'm sleepy, as right now for some reason I'm struggling to fall asleep easy? Once I'm asleep it's all fine and dandy.. In fact I want to sleep TOO much, much to the dismay of my alarm.. But I start back at college tomorrow for the first time in 2 and a half months and I want to be chirpy for it!!
I think once I'm back into a routine it'll be easier, but even writing that makes me feel like a granny :D. Ah well...
As I say I went to get my timetable today and very happy!! It seems much better than my AS Timetable which left me with massive four hour gaps:( (There's only so many Starbucks a girl can have to pass the time :P). I really love all the lovely people I've met whilst being at college but hope - work wise - this year flies! I'll keep you posted anyway I'm sure :).
Yay I'm finally sleepy!
Nighty night and take care,
Molly
Xxx
For the first time ever I'm writing this with absolutely no inspiration. You see, normally I fall in love with a song and the first reaction I have is to blog it. Partly for me this is because, I love music and so decided over a year ago now that if I wanted to write anything that'd be the best thing to write about, but also because I love looking back and seeing how my taste changes, and what song that I fell in love with April last year, I'll go on to love tomorrow. It's brilliant, but then again it's music.
I feel out of conformity to post a song and so I've gone for one I always love, Maroon 5's 'She will be loved'. It's one of those that if it comes on in the car it's guaranteed that you'll all be singing (in some cases even the extremely high rifty bit at the end :D - why not I dare you?).
Anyway while you have a little saunter to that I'll just continue to completely ramble on until I'm sleepy, as right now for some reason I'm struggling to fall asleep easy? Once I'm asleep it's all fine and dandy.. In fact I want to sleep TOO much, much to the dismay of my alarm.. But I start back at college tomorrow for the first time in 2 and a half months and I want to be chirpy for it!!
I think once I'm back into a routine it'll be easier, but even writing that makes me feel like a granny :D. Ah well...
As I say I went to get my timetable today and very happy!! It seems much better than my AS Timetable which left me with massive four hour gaps:( (There's only so many Starbucks a girl can have to pass the time :P). I really love all the lovely people I've met whilst being at college but hope - work wise - this year flies! I'll keep you posted anyway I'm sure :).
Yay I'm finally sleepy!
Nighty night and take care,
Molly
Xxx
Saturday, 3 September 2016
Taking a second to witness absolute genius, surely?
Hiya,
I know, I seem to have a habit of going a couple of weeks before posting and then do two nights back to back. Blogging is strangely addictive in that way I think, for me anyway, it's only when I write I realise how good it is, Like I forget till' the next time?
Anyway, today's been pretty good but I think the highlight had to be Hospital Radio (as usual really). As I was covering someone's 12.30-2 show it meant that, as well as playing any requests I may get, I could pretty much fill up the show with all sorts of music. This for me is heaven, but today was particularly fun as I let my inner cringe eight year old come through, and play Busted's 'Year 3000' because hey, why not?! ;)
Seriously though, both Busted and Mcfly were like the Beatles of the playground growing up and I still remember being completely devastated upon hearing the news of their breakup. Thank goodness some years later, someone had the clever idea of mashing Mcfly and Busted making 'Mcbusted'. In fact for 90's babies like me, it was sheer genius :D.
Ah, as usual I'm going off at a tangent...
What I really wanted to dedicate this post to was Alex Turner's song writing prowess (of 'The Arctic Monkey's' and 'The last shadow puppets'). As you know I'm a massive arctic Monkey's fan, this post may not be a shock. But despite this fandom I've never really looked properly into the lyrics of many of his songs and now I have it's so mind blowingly brilliant that I wanted to post about it.
I could waffle on about how I think most of his songs turn out to be basically some of the best poetry I've ever seen, all whilst maintaining the gritty Sheffield colloqiualisms we all love, but I may as well just copy a list of a couple of random songs I've picked below for you to look at. Like I say I will copy these and try and maintain a good standard but I'm sorry if any of the words go missing in the copying process :P.
Black Treacle - Arctic Monkey's
Lately I've been seeing things
I know, I seem to have a habit of going a couple of weeks before posting and then do two nights back to back. Blogging is strangely addictive in that way I think, for me anyway, it's only when I write I realise how good it is, Like I forget till' the next time?
Anyway, today's been pretty good but I think the highlight had to be Hospital Radio (as usual really). As I was covering someone's 12.30-2 show it meant that, as well as playing any requests I may get, I could pretty much fill up the show with all sorts of music. This for me is heaven, but today was particularly fun as I let my inner cringe eight year old come through, and play Busted's 'Year 3000' because hey, why not?! ;)
Seriously though, both Busted and Mcfly were like the Beatles of the playground growing up and I still remember being completely devastated upon hearing the news of their breakup. Thank goodness some years later, someone had the clever idea of mashing Mcfly and Busted making 'Mcbusted'. In fact for 90's babies like me, it was sheer genius :D.
Ah, as usual I'm going off at a tangent...
What I really wanted to dedicate this post to was Alex Turner's song writing prowess (of 'The Arctic Monkey's' and 'The last shadow puppets'). As you know I'm a massive arctic Monkey's fan, this post may not be a shock. But despite this fandom I've never really looked properly into the lyrics of many of his songs and now I have it's so mind blowingly brilliant that I wanted to post about it.
I could waffle on about how I think most of his songs turn out to be basically some of the best poetry I've ever seen, all whilst maintaining the gritty Sheffield colloqiualisms we all love, but I may as well just copy a list of a couple of random songs I've picked below for you to look at. Like I say I will copy these and try and maintain a good standard but I'm sorry if any of the words go missing in the copying process :P.
Black Treacle - Arctic Monkey's
Lately I've been seeing things
Belly button piercings in the sky at night
When we're side by side
And I don't mean to rain on anybody's cabaret
One of those games you're gonna lose
But you wanna play it just in case
When we're side by side
And I don't mean to rain on anybody's cabaret
One of those games you're gonna lose
But you wanna play it just in case
And now it's getting dark and the sky looks sticky
More like black treacle than tar
Black treacle
Somebody told the stars you're not coming out tonight
And so they found a place to hide
More like black treacle than tar
Black treacle
Somebody told the stars you're not coming out tonight
And so they found a place to hide
Does it help you stay up late?
Does it help you concentrate?
Is it true you win when you chew your chin?
Am I ruining your fun?
And you talk the talk alright
Do you walk the walk or catch the train?
You wanted it, you got it
But you don't want it now
Does it help you concentrate?
Is it true you win when you chew your chin?
Am I ruining your fun?
And you talk the talk alright
Do you walk the walk or catch the train?
You wanted it, you got it
But you don't want it now
Now it's getting dark and the sky looks sticky
More like black treacle than tar
Black treacle
More like black treacle than tar
Black treacle
Red light indicates doors are secured - The Arctic Monkey's
Ask if we can have six in, if not we'll have to have 2
You're coming up our end aren't you? So I'll get one with you
Oh won't he let us have six in? especially not with the food
He coulda just told us no though, he dint have to be rude
You see her in the green dress? She talked to me at the bar
How come its already two pound fifty? We've only gone about a yard
Dint ya see she were gorgeous, she was beyond belief
But this lad at the side drinking a Smirnoff ice came and paid for her tropical Reef
And I'm sitting going backwards, and I didn't want to leave
I said, "It's High Green mate, via Hillsborough please!"
Well how funny was that sketch earlier, up near that taxi rank
Oh no you will have missed it, think it was when you went to the bank
These two lads squaring up proper shoutin', 'bout who was next in the queue
The kind of thing that would seem so silly but not when they've both had a few
Well calm down temper temper, you shouldn't get so annoyed
You're acting like a silly little boy
They wanted to be men and do some fighting in the street
He said no surrender, no chance of retreat
And so why are we in a taxi?
'Cause I didn't want to leave
I said "It's High Green Mate, via Hillsborough please!"
Drunken plots hatched to jump it, ask around are ya sure?
Went for it but the red light was showing
And the red light indicates doors are secured
You're coming up our end aren't you? So I'll get one with you
Oh won't he let us have six in? especially not with the food
He coulda just told us no though, he dint have to be rude
You see her in the green dress? She talked to me at the bar
How come its already two pound fifty? We've only gone about a yard
Dint ya see she were gorgeous, she was beyond belief
But this lad at the side drinking a Smirnoff ice came and paid for her tropical Reef
And I'm sitting going backwards, and I didn't want to leave
I said, "It's High Green mate, via Hillsborough please!"
Well how funny was that sketch earlier, up near that taxi rank
Oh no you will have missed it, think it was when you went to the bank
These two lads squaring up proper shoutin', 'bout who was next in the queue
The kind of thing that would seem so silly but not when they've both had a few
Well calm down temper temper, you shouldn't get so annoyed
You're acting like a silly little boy
They wanted to be men and do some fighting in the street
He said no surrender, no chance of retreat
And so why are we in a taxi?
'Cause I didn't want to leave
I said "It's High Green Mate, via Hillsborough please!"
Drunken plots hatched to jump it, ask around are ya sure?
Went for it but the red light was showing
And the red light indicates doors are secured
Sorry for all the font changes, I'm on my phone and it's so hard to adjust everything! :( try and see it as me trying to be arty hahaha!
I hope you enjoy reading the lyrics as much as I did. I know every song tells a story but there's something about the way Alex Turner writes that draws you in more than most. I just love the down to earth language, coming from Stoke on Trent I'm so used to hearing words like 'love', 'duck' and 'sweetheart' as affectionate epithets, that I guess I feel a sort of comfort from his lyrics.
I also hope this has made sense, and not seemed completely random and jumbled!!
Sleep well,
Thanks for reading,
Molly xxx
Friday, 2 September 2016
Courteeners - Not Nineteen forever
Alas,
Why is it that at this time of night, despite being very sleepy whilst the late night sitcoms were on down-stairs, I pad to bed only to find myself wide awake? Is it one of life's' conundrums? Not sure...
Anyway, Hiya! :)
Hope you are lovely and well and happy and have been enjoying the past few weeks! For me it's flown by, from chilling at home for a week with my lovely dog whilst my parents jetted off to the beautiful Amsterdam, to collecting my AS results (very happy with ABB) it's been completely bonkers but good. College starts again on Tuesday and although most of me would kill for another few weeks of lounging, the quicker I go back, the quicker the year will go (Or that's my mentality anyway!).
I really want to dedicate this post to a band I love and as I received exciting news regarding them this morning it seems fitting to post. Ah don't get your hopes up, I haven't had a shock proposal from one of the band members, nor have they asked me to tour with them (booo) , but my Dad woke me up informing me that he'd managed to get tickets to the next Courteeners tour. It's really close to where I live (which is a rarity for a girl from The Midlands - well where I live anyway!) and only in a couple of months so it's safe to say I'm proper chuffed! Infact, understatement of the century, I danced around my room to 'Are you in love with a notion?' When I heard, but like a girls' gotta' play it cool hasn't she.
Even though I absolutely love that song, I thought I'd put another classic on here, as well, as the song says itself I'm not going to be nineteen 'forever' so I may as well post it whilst I am :D.
I'm afraid I can only get a live version, but I believe this was performed in the Ethiad, Manchester (But I must state, I can't take the credit, it isn't my recording)
I hope you enjoy it and have a peaceful night,
Molly xxx
Why is it that at this time of night, despite being very sleepy whilst the late night sitcoms were on down-stairs, I pad to bed only to find myself wide awake? Is it one of life's' conundrums? Not sure...
Anyway, Hiya! :)
Hope you are lovely and well and happy and have been enjoying the past few weeks! For me it's flown by, from chilling at home for a week with my lovely dog whilst my parents jetted off to the beautiful Amsterdam, to collecting my AS results (very happy with ABB) it's been completely bonkers but good. College starts again on Tuesday and although most of me would kill for another few weeks of lounging, the quicker I go back, the quicker the year will go (Or that's my mentality anyway!).
I really want to dedicate this post to a band I love and as I received exciting news regarding them this morning it seems fitting to post. Ah don't get your hopes up, I haven't had a shock proposal from one of the band members, nor have they asked me to tour with them (booo) , but my Dad woke me up informing me that he'd managed to get tickets to the next Courteeners tour. It's really close to where I live (which is a rarity for a girl from The Midlands - well where I live anyway!) and only in a couple of months so it's safe to say I'm proper chuffed! Infact, understatement of the century, I danced around my room to 'Are you in love with a notion?' When I heard, but like a girls' gotta' play it cool hasn't she.
Even though I absolutely love that song, I thought I'd put another classic on here, as well, as the song says itself I'm not going to be nineteen 'forever' so I may as well post it whilst I am :D.
I'm afraid I can only get a live version, but I believe this was performed in the Ethiad, Manchester (But I must state, I can't take the credit, it isn't my recording)
I hope you enjoy it and have a peaceful night,
Molly xxx
Sunday, 14 August 2016
A Song that's really 'me' (can a song be me?)
Hey,
It's just going to be a short post tonight, as as I'm living my Catfish and the Bottlemen addiction full blast at the mo, I need to post a song that I've heard and thought 'yeah that's me'. That's weird isn't it? That you can relate a song, story, picture, poem or even feeling and think 'yeah that sums up me', even though it isn't you?!?! :D
Anyway, every song I post on here, I have to love enough to post, but this song in particular - 'Homesick' by Catfish and The Bottlemen - I love completely and utterly.
Have a lovely evening ;D
Molly xxxx
It's just going to be a short post tonight, as as I'm living my Catfish and the Bottlemen addiction full blast at the mo, I need to post a song that I've heard and thought 'yeah that's me'. That's weird isn't it? That you can relate a song, story, picture, poem or even feeling and think 'yeah that sums up me', even though it isn't you?!?! :D
Anyway, every song I post on here, I have to love enough to post, but this song in particular - 'Homesick' by Catfish and The Bottlemen - I love completely and utterly.
Have a lovely evening ;D
Molly xxxx
Saturday, 13 August 2016
Sense of humour = the root of all things :D
Ellooor,
It's that time of night again when I've come to ave' a good kip ;) and I feel the need to post. I am a muppet I really am.
I've even got to be up quite early tomorrow to go on a little drive with my L Plates on, after the Poppa has kindly promised me he'll sit in, before heading to record the Friday lunchtime show at Hospital Radio. I'm really happy to say I've got a car and on Wednesday passed my theory, so just practise and more lessons to go to get to the practical! Ahhhh! Anyway...
Tonight's post has got a particular genre, that being comedy; but in particular its really a dedication to one of my all time favourite comedians and that's Caroline Aherne. I've definitely talked about her in passing in one of my posts from a few months ago, due to my love of the sitcom she so cleverly co-wrote with the (also legend) Craig Cash. However, perhaps sadly but inevitably more so after her really untimely passing, I've taken to watching some of her early comedy sketches. These include snippets from 'The fast show' and the 'Mrs Merton' show, a show where Caroline's character (Mrs Merton) hosted a mock talk show, taking the mick out of celebrities. (If you haven't seen these I'd definitely recommend you check them out, to me they're absolute genius, especially the latter as being an interviewer exposed to any manner of reply,, most of Caroline's come-backs were unscripted.)
-started on 12/8/2016 carried on 13/8/2016 (with a fresh cuppa' in hand) -
Sorry I couldn't stay up to finish this post last night, my eyelids were so heavy I would've had to put toothpicks in them, Mr Bean style, to keep them open! :D so I will pull myself together and dive straight back in to it...
However really, I'm only paving the way for uploading a stand up video that I found from Caroline's early days as a comedian, I can't tell where it is or the date it was filmed etc... All's I know is, if I even saw this one video and nothing else, there's something about her comedy that makes me think she's a genius, in fact she is in my eyes.
- I will just add sorry if anyone finds any of the content insulting, it is not intended to be so at all, in fact that's why Caroline highlights situations, in a sort of dark comedy! I've merely chosen this video, as to me it demonstrates how naturally funny she is.
I love how down to earth her humour is, that it seems so relatable that she could almost be a mate talking to you down the pub or something. This for me is the key to all I enjoy, both good music and good comedy has to make me feel like it knows me better than I know myself and it's then that it really touches me. What I love about comedy in particular, without any pun intended, is that it doesn't take itself seriously. At the end of the day, life is life, and sometimes it's unfair and sometimes horrible things happen, but we know this, it's no surprise, so if you can see how even the most normal and underrated situations can be hilarious, why don't you?? By laughing at how awful and brilliant things can be, I think you're in a better position to embrace it even if it's 'blummin' heck, I didn't expect that'. Even talking like this now I think I'm a little to serious :D. Ayyyyee only embracing my inner David Brent and teaching people my epiphanies ;D. Hahaha only joking!
I think I've always loved comedy and (according to my Mum) always understood sarcasm - it's a good thing, I think it makes up about 90% of who I am ;) - as my parents have always been sarcastic and so when I was little and my friends used to look around confused/slightly concerned when my mum joked apparently, apart from me who just laughed :D (big surprise).
What intrigues me is how much my sense of humour makes up who I am and how much it affects friendship. It's true that all my closest friends are the ones who understand my humour. Even if we've all got different types, we all know not to take each other seriously at all. In fact when there is anything serious to talk about, I have to do the mandatory address of 'RIGHT, this is serious now' :D.
On that note
I'M BEING SERIOUS NOW,
Have the best night ;D
Thank you for reading,
Molly xxx
It's that time of night again when I've come to ave' a good kip ;) and I feel the need to post. I am a muppet I really am.
I've even got to be up quite early tomorrow to go on a little drive with my L Plates on, after the Poppa has kindly promised me he'll sit in, before heading to record the Friday lunchtime show at Hospital Radio. I'm really happy to say I've got a car and on Wednesday passed my theory, so just practise and more lessons to go to get to the practical! Ahhhh! Anyway...
Tonight's post has got a particular genre, that being comedy; but in particular its really a dedication to one of my all time favourite comedians and that's Caroline Aherne. I've definitely talked about her in passing in one of my posts from a few months ago, due to my love of the sitcom she so cleverly co-wrote with the (also legend) Craig Cash. However, perhaps sadly but inevitably more so after her really untimely passing, I've taken to watching some of her early comedy sketches. These include snippets from 'The fast show' and the 'Mrs Merton' show, a show where Caroline's character (Mrs Merton) hosted a mock talk show, taking the mick out of celebrities. (If you haven't seen these I'd definitely recommend you check them out, to me they're absolute genius, especially the latter as being an interviewer exposed to any manner of reply,, most of Caroline's come-backs were unscripted.)
-started on 12/8/2016 carried on 13/8/2016 (with a fresh cuppa' in hand) -
Sorry I couldn't stay up to finish this post last night, my eyelids were so heavy I would've had to put toothpicks in them, Mr Bean style, to keep them open! :D so I will pull myself together and dive straight back in to it...
However really, I'm only paving the way for uploading a stand up video that I found from Caroline's early days as a comedian, I can't tell where it is or the date it was filmed etc... All's I know is, if I even saw this one video and nothing else, there's something about her comedy that makes me think she's a genius, in fact she is in my eyes.
- I will just add sorry if anyone finds any of the content insulting, it is not intended to be so at all, in fact that's why Caroline highlights situations, in a sort of dark comedy! I've merely chosen this video, as to me it demonstrates how naturally funny she is.
I love how down to earth her humour is, that it seems so relatable that she could almost be a mate talking to you down the pub or something. This for me is the key to all I enjoy, both good music and good comedy has to make me feel like it knows me better than I know myself and it's then that it really touches me. What I love about comedy in particular, without any pun intended, is that it doesn't take itself seriously. At the end of the day, life is life, and sometimes it's unfair and sometimes horrible things happen, but we know this, it's no surprise, so if you can see how even the most normal and underrated situations can be hilarious, why don't you?? By laughing at how awful and brilliant things can be, I think you're in a better position to embrace it even if it's 'blummin' heck, I didn't expect that'. Even talking like this now I think I'm a little to serious :D. Ayyyyee only embracing my inner David Brent and teaching people my epiphanies ;D. Hahaha only joking!
I think I've always loved comedy and (according to my Mum) always understood sarcasm - it's a good thing, I think it makes up about 90% of who I am ;) - as my parents have always been sarcastic and so when I was little and my friends used to look around confused/slightly concerned when my mum joked apparently, apart from me who just laughed :D (big surprise).
What intrigues me is how much my sense of humour makes up who I am and how much it affects friendship. It's true that all my closest friends are the ones who understand my humour. Even if we've all got different types, we all know not to take each other seriously at all. In fact when there is anything serious to talk about, I have to do the mandatory address of 'RIGHT, this is serious now' :D.
On that note
I'M BEING SERIOUS NOW,
Have the best night ;D
Thank you for reading,
Molly xxx
Sunday, 7 August 2016
Major overlook of pretty epic band - Catfish and The Bottlemen
Right,
Again it's late and I'm completely sorry but this post has got to be uploaded even if I have got to be up early tomorrow, because, as far as music blogging goes I feel it's essential. Okay, so not quite as essential as y'know not mixing water with electricity or I don't know.. Making sure you've got your parachute before you sky dive, but it seems pretty essential to me all the same. And that is to do a blog post completely dedicated to the legends that are Catfish and The Bottlemen.
Oh, I know what you're thinking... What kind of self professed indie-lover are you Molly? Catfish have been around for so long now they're slipping mainstream (to the sigh of a pretty massive fan base probably), how have they slipped the net?
Well I don't know, but truth be told, they have.
It all started when a friend of mine suggested I listened to' Seven' pretty much a few days of its release. As soon as I heard it I got that tingly feeling I get when I know I'm going to be hooked on a song for a while (I'm weird I know) and pretty soon all my best friends knew the words, with one even working on a cover for the next open mic night - we're regulars I can tell you. :D
I suppose before that I'd vaguely heard of them from a few people but if I'm honest, something put me off listening to their stuff, maybe I just wanted something different and I was scared they'd be a bit same-y, either way that was stupid, and as with anything in life you cannot judge before you've experienced something, or in this case heard something, so I should of known better. But ey, stranger things have happened.
Anyway... In case you don't know much about the band, here are a few details to fill you in ;) (Thank you Wikipedia as of 5/8/16);
Catfish and The Bottlemen are an Indie/ Rock band, formed in Llandudno, Wales in 2007. Their debut album 'The Balcony' reached number 10 in the UK singles chart on release and their second album 'The Ride' was released in May of this year. Before that hey released their first three singles; 'Homesick', 'Rango' and 'Pacifier' in 2013 and then a following single 'Kathleen' in 2014. All to incredibly positive response. According to Ryan Mcann, one of the founding members of the band, the name 'Catfish and The Bottlemen' derives from hours first musical childhood memory, of an Australian street busker in Sydney, who played beer bottles and went by the name of 'Catfish the bottle man'. Playing many Festivals in the UK and in Europe, such as Reading, Leeds, Kendal-calling and Y Not - to name but a few - it seems the band are going from strength to strength.
So, as I've probably got my fair share of catching up to do, I thought I'd upload a few of the tracks that were on my playlist this evening! I hope that those who are already familiar with the band enjoy them and those who didn't know a Catfish from a Bottle before are now more familiar with the band, or are prepared, at least to be a bit more open minded than me ;D.
I'll put on 'Kathleen', 'Pacifier' and 'Fallout' for you to enjoy in that order :D.
Have a lovely evening!
Molly xxx
Again it's late and I'm completely sorry but this post has got to be uploaded even if I have got to be up early tomorrow, because, as far as music blogging goes I feel it's essential. Okay, so not quite as essential as y'know not mixing water with electricity or I don't know.. Making sure you've got your parachute before you sky dive, but it seems pretty essential to me all the same. And that is to do a blog post completely dedicated to the legends that are Catfish and The Bottlemen.
Oh, I know what you're thinking... What kind of self professed indie-lover are you Molly? Catfish have been around for so long now they're slipping mainstream (to the sigh of a pretty massive fan base probably), how have they slipped the net?
Well I don't know, but truth be told, they have.
It all started when a friend of mine suggested I listened to' Seven' pretty much a few days of its release. As soon as I heard it I got that tingly feeling I get when I know I'm going to be hooked on a song for a while (I'm weird I know) and pretty soon all my best friends knew the words, with one even working on a cover for the next open mic night - we're regulars I can tell you. :D
I suppose before that I'd vaguely heard of them from a few people but if I'm honest, something put me off listening to their stuff, maybe I just wanted something different and I was scared they'd be a bit same-y, either way that was stupid, and as with anything in life you cannot judge before you've experienced something, or in this case heard something, so I should of known better. But ey, stranger things have happened.
Anyway... In case you don't know much about the band, here are a few details to fill you in ;) (Thank you Wikipedia as of 5/8/16);
Catfish and The Bottlemen are an Indie/ Rock band, formed in Llandudno, Wales in 2007. Their debut album 'The Balcony' reached number 10 in the UK singles chart on release and their second album 'The Ride' was released in May of this year. Before that hey released their first three singles; 'Homesick', 'Rango' and 'Pacifier' in 2013 and then a following single 'Kathleen' in 2014. All to incredibly positive response. According to Ryan Mcann, one of the founding members of the band, the name 'Catfish and The Bottlemen' derives from hours first musical childhood memory, of an Australian street busker in Sydney, who played beer bottles and went by the name of 'Catfish the bottle man'. Playing many Festivals in the UK and in Europe, such as Reading, Leeds, Kendal-calling and Y Not - to name but a few - it seems the band are going from strength to strength.
So, as I've probably got my fair share of catching up to do, I thought I'd upload a few of the tracks that were on my playlist this evening! I hope that those who are already familiar with the band enjoy them and those who didn't know a Catfish from a Bottle before are now more familiar with the band, or are prepared, at least to be a bit more open minded than me ;D.
I'll put on 'Kathleen', 'Pacifier' and 'Fallout' for you to enjoy in that order :D.
Have a lovely evening!
Molly xxx
Wednesday, 3 August 2016
Shaun Mendes - Treat you better
Hey,
Good afternoon! The weather's been so lovely today it's been lush chilling in the garden and getting fresh air, especially after attending a pretty fab house party for my besties 19th last night!
It was such a nice night and it was really cool for everyone to be able to get together before Uni starts for many next month. For me, having another year to go, results day seems to be coming up so quickly it's unreal! Next Wednesday I'll be joining the que to receive my results and even though I know I tried my absolute best, I am a little nervous. Whether it's AS or A2, A levels are a big deal! I reckon what will be will be, just got to try my hardest next year too!
Anyway, today's song choice is actually one I heard for the first time at last night's soirée. We all kept jumping on the laptop and changing the playlist so can't actually remember who chose it, but I can definitely remember thinking I've got to blog it ASAP.
It definitely is the epitamy of a pop ballad; a guy or girl singing desperately about the one that got away, but I think the lyrics are so clever and it's so catchy that I loved it straight away! I was suprised that it was released two weeks ago and I hadn't yet heard it on the local radio station but after this, just by weird laws of probability I'll start hearing it all the time, which isn't a bad thing!
I loved Shaun Mendes from the minute I started humming 'I'll be needing stichesssss...', everywhere and even though he is genetically 'poppy' and maybe not to everyone's taste, I definitely think there's a place for Pop, even if it's secretly dancing around your room on that Sunday morning when there's nothing to do :D.. I'd just like to add Thank you so much for such a positive response on my last post, that's the most amount of views I've ever had and you guys are great! I also can't quite believe that next Monday will mark the annum of beginning this blog, that's crazy!!
Keep dancing :D
Molly xxx
Good afternoon! The weather's been so lovely today it's been lush chilling in the garden and getting fresh air, especially after attending a pretty fab house party for my besties 19th last night!
It was such a nice night and it was really cool for everyone to be able to get together before Uni starts for many next month. For me, having another year to go, results day seems to be coming up so quickly it's unreal! Next Wednesday I'll be joining the que to receive my results and even though I know I tried my absolute best, I am a little nervous. Whether it's AS or A2, A levels are a big deal! I reckon what will be will be, just got to try my hardest next year too!
Anyway, today's song choice is actually one I heard for the first time at last night's soirée. We all kept jumping on the laptop and changing the playlist so can't actually remember who chose it, but I can definitely remember thinking I've got to blog it ASAP.
It definitely is the epitamy of a pop ballad; a guy or girl singing desperately about the one that got away, but I think the lyrics are so clever and it's so catchy that I loved it straight away! I was suprised that it was released two weeks ago and I hadn't yet heard it on the local radio station but after this, just by weird laws of probability I'll start hearing it all the time, which isn't a bad thing!
I loved Shaun Mendes from the minute I started humming 'I'll be needing stichesssss...', everywhere and even though he is genetically 'poppy' and maybe not to everyone's taste, I definitely think there's a place for Pop, even if it's secretly dancing around your room on that Sunday morning when there's nothing to do :D.. I'd just like to add Thank you so much for such a positive response on my last post, that's the most amount of views I've ever had and you guys are great! I also can't quite believe that next Monday will mark the annum of beginning this blog, that's crazy!!
Keep dancing :D
Molly xxx
Saturday, 30 July 2016
Explaining my Condition - Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia syndrome (P.O.T.S)
Hiya,
-Footnote-
I began to write this post a few nights ago, but it's taken me longer than thought! It started only as a means to vent, as on that particular day, after meeting friends I became completely frustrated with how bad one of my symptoms was; forgetfulness, but I feel that it's probably right to do a proper post explaining P.O.T.S. Although it'll probably be the only time as I'm sure as much as I feel it's important to raise awareness, I want to get back to the 'fun' bit, music! :). However, if you have any queries about the condition I've discussed, I'd definitely recommend doing further research as that'd be able to explain anything in greater detail better than I would, I think!
In this post I will go onto explain a little of how my chronic, but managed condition affects me and explain a little more on the impact it has on a person's life who has the condition, as tonight like many nights I see particular symptoms emerging that are just distressing and frustrating at times.I hesitate to use the word 'sufferer' when I talk about a person with a condition, because even though you do most definitely suffer, I see a 'sufferer' of any condition to be stronger than to be branded by such a pessimistic term!
I've had Postural Orthastatic Tachycardia syndrome ( or P.O.T.S as its abbreviated) since the age of 14, yet I wasn't diagnosed until I was 16, after being branded by a sort of umbrella condition known as M.E. This in itself is a proper and painful condition but it is usually the name given when you have extreme fatigue, often with other symptoms which include: nausea, light sensitivity, forgetfulness or 'brain fog', aching limbs.. The awful symptoms are endless. However what I aim to point out is the title of M.E is usually given when Doctor's cannot find the source of fatigue and so brand you with a sweeping term so to speak. Many patients of M.E have varying conditions brought about by any part of the body which doesn't seem to be working 'properly' (in the most unprofessional statement going) , though many patients have either stomach conditions, bad reactions to certain vaccinations (which causes the immune system to in a sense temporarily fail, bad reactions to bites or tics... Or in my case a condition affecting the autonomic system in my body. This is the system that covers all the basic needs in a sense, such as temperature and pulse regulation. Basically, when a person stands, their heart beat is regulated, despite the change in bloodflow, to make sure the blood reaches their extremities and then back up to the brain. However in a person with P.O.T.S this regulation simply doesn't happen, usually due to stretchy veins in the legs. This means the legs can't contract as normal to push the blood up to the heart. This then means the heart beats faster to overcompensate. Over time this of course causes massive physical stress on the body and it becomes extremely fatigued. It feels like you're running everywhere just on standing and it means you feel exhausted past the point of sleep in the most awful way. It means you can sleep for twelve hours and wake up feeling just as bad as you did before, this sleep not even denting the type of exhaustion we're talking about.
In normal cases, the heart and blood are perfectly healthy in themselves, it's just the connection in the autonomics that isn't right.
As P.O.T.S is a fairly new condition, with only a small amount of research being performed by specialist teams in the UK, the exact cause of the condition is unknown, but it is thought that various triggers can spark the condition in different people and factors that affect one person may not affect another. For some it's hormones (interestingly on average females tend to get P.O.T.S more than males), but in others vaccinations and virus triggers seem to be the cause for knocking the autonomics out of shape. I could explain the condition for hours I feel it might be clearer to look on the main website for P.O.T.S and it's treatment here:
http://www.potsuk.org
My story to being diagnosed is a long one, so I feel it'd be impossible to explain everything, but the debilitating fatigue I felt caused me to suddenly drop out of school, as I was bed bound, unable to have the energy to maintain simple conversation, extremely sensitive to light ( I remember vividly having to lie in complete darkness), feeling so incredibly sick and achey I can't even begin to describe and feeling so helpless with it all. I loved school, I love to learn, I was happy had lots of friends and suddenly I was stuck at home, unable to even walk for five minutes in the fresh air or speak to a friend. It was incredibly, awfully, crazy and even though my condition is now managed, through medication that slows my heart rate, compression tights to help my blood flow and plenty of fluids to raise my blood volume and pressure, I still can't believe it all happened to me. I can remember feeling at the time a sort of surrealness about the whole thing, like its a bad dream I should wake up from, that naively, bad things like this don't happen to normal fun loving 14 year olds like me, but to other unfortunate people that you always seem to hear about through mutual acquaintance. But sadly it does happen, to hundreds of teens and adolescence, as well as adults. I saw countless Doctor's who didn't know what was wrong with me, some open minded enough to see the pain and my chalky
greyish colouring I get when I'm ill, and some that recommended that I should just 'take a holiday' and then I would feel better. This was when I only had enough energy to just about manage the appointment before sleeping for the rest of the day. When you're ill like that, the day's merge and at times you wonder if you'll ever feel like you used to, feel better. But I told myself if I became ill I could, by laws of physics become better to and I'd make sure that I would. Of course I couldn't of seen the right people, who explained the reasons I was feeling so ill and offered treatment, if it wasn't for my parents who put everything they could into making me better. Taking time of to care for me, whilst my Dad worked, my mum joined online groups made by other Mum's with ill children in the same situation. It was through this amazing support that she first heard about P.O.T.S and made appointments with the right Doctor's, that may have been in the far corners of the country with their pioneering research, if it meant getting me better. I am forever grateful and moved by their compassion and love.
As I say skip forward an unbelievable 5 years and I'm living a pretty normal life, within my energy restraints. I am now overjoyed to have finished my first year of a levels, despite only being able to concentrate on lessons for more than ten minutes at a time at my worst back in 2011, and I currently volunteer as well as maintaining a fairly active social life. I have to be more conservative with my energy than that of my friends and I definitely feel like the symptoms still take their toll, fatigue mainly along with poor temperature regulation and loss of short term memory at times. But I am aware of my limitations and live as fuller life as I am possibly able to. I might have times when I am better or worse, but I absolutely enjoy every day to its fullest, as I know it could always be worse. I feel incredibly lucky to have such amazing, understanding friends and family around me and I'm sure they've aided my recovery massively with their positive supportive influence.
I'd just like to say a massive thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read this. It is really the first time (after starting this blog nearly a year ago) that I've tried to put my experience with a chronic condition down properly. I've found just by writing I've come a huge way in understanding myself and as well as this hope that by writing, whoever reads this may gain a little more knowledge and understanding of a condition they might not of heard of previously. I would urge anybody who is in a condition where they feel so poorly their life is impacted to keep searching for answers as best they can, because they should be out there, chances are you are NOT alone. I stress that my journey to recovery is personal and what was the cause of my condition most certainly isn't guaranteed to be yours but I just wanted to share my experience.
One thing I will say is KEEP SMILING, you are stronger than you think :)
And... In true Molly form, I've got to maintain tradition and post a song. So without further ado this song sums it up! Not only from the greatest comic group of all time, to my mind, but also with amazingly true lyrics!
'Always Look on The Brightside of Life' - The Monty Pythons :D
Oh and ignore the 'Brightside of death' lyrics, don't worry I'm not going anywhere!! I just chose this song Because you've got to laugh avent' you Gov'? ;D. Have the best day,
Take care,
Love,
Molly xxx
-Footnote-
I began to write this post a few nights ago, but it's taken me longer than thought! It started only as a means to vent, as on that particular day, after meeting friends I became completely frustrated with how bad one of my symptoms was; forgetfulness, but I feel that it's probably right to do a proper post explaining P.O.T.S. Although it'll probably be the only time as I'm sure as much as I feel it's important to raise awareness, I want to get back to the 'fun' bit, music! :). However, if you have any queries about the condition I've discussed, I'd definitely recommend doing further research as that'd be able to explain anything in greater detail better than I would, I think!
In this post I will go onto explain a little of how my chronic, but managed condition affects me and explain a little more on the impact it has on a person's life who has the condition, as tonight like many nights I see particular symptoms emerging that are just distressing and frustrating at times.I hesitate to use the word 'sufferer' when I talk about a person with a condition, because even though you do most definitely suffer, I see a 'sufferer' of any condition to be stronger than to be branded by such a pessimistic term!
I've had Postural Orthastatic Tachycardia syndrome ( or P.O.T.S as its abbreviated) since the age of 14, yet I wasn't diagnosed until I was 16, after being branded by a sort of umbrella condition known as M.E. This in itself is a proper and painful condition but it is usually the name given when you have extreme fatigue, often with other symptoms which include: nausea, light sensitivity, forgetfulness or 'brain fog', aching limbs.. The awful symptoms are endless. However what I aim to point out is the title of M.E is usually given when Doctor's cannot find the source of fatigue and so brand you with a sweeping term so to speak. Many patients of M.E have varying conditions brought about by any part of the body which doesn't seem to be working 'properly' (in the most unprofessional statement going) , though many patients have either stomach conditions, bad reactions to certain vaccinations (which causes the immune system to in a sense temporarily fail, bad reactions to bites or tics... Or in my case a condition affecting the autonomic system in my body. This is the system that covers all the basic needs in a sense, such as temperature and pulse regulation. Basically, when a person stands, their heart beat is regulated, despite the change in bloodflow, to make sure the blood reaches their extremities and then back up to the brain. However in a person with P.O.T.S this regulation simply doesn't happen, usually due to stretchy veins in the legs. This means the legs can't contract as normal to push the blood up to the heart. This then means the heart beats faster to overcompensate. Over time this of course causes massive physical stress on the body and it becomes extremely fatigued. It feels like you're running everywhere just on standing and it means you feel exhausted past the point of sleep in the most awful way. It means you can sleep for twelve hours and wake up feeling just as bad as you did before, this sleep not even denting the type of exhaustion we're talking about.
In normal cases, the heart and blood are perfectly healthy in themselves, it's just the connection in the autonomics that isn't right.
As P.O.T.S is a fairly new condition, with only a small amount of research being performed by specialist teams in the UK, the exact cause of the condition is unknown, but it is thought that various triggers can spark the condition in different people and factors that affect one person may not affect another. For some it's hormones (interestingly on average females tend to get P.O.T.S more than males), but in others vaccinations and virus triggers seem to be the cause for knocking the autonomics out of shape. I could explain the condition for hours I feel it might be clearer to look on the main website for P.O.T.S and it's treatment here:
http://www.potsuk.org
My story to being diagnosed is a long one, so I feel it'd be impossible to explain everything, but the debilitating fatigue I felt caused me to suddenly drop out of school, as I was bed bound, unable to have the energy to maintain simple conversation, extremely sensitive to light ( I remember vividly having to lie in complete darkness), feeling so incredibly sick and achey I can't even begin to describe and feeling so helpless with it all. I loved school, I love to learn, I was happy had lots of friends and suddenly I was stuck at home, unable to even walk for five minutes in the fresh air or speak to a friend. It was incredibly, awfully, crazy and even though my condition is now managed, through medication that slows my heart rate, compression tights to help my blood flow and plenty of fluids to raise my blood volume and pressure, I still can't believe it all happened to me. I can remember feeling at the time a sort of surrealness about the whole thing, like its a bad dream I should wake up from, that naively, bad things like this don't happen to normal fun loving 14 year olds like me, but to other unfortunate people that you always seem to hear about through mutual acquaintance. But sadly it does happen, to hundreds of teens and adolescence, as well as adults. I saw countless Doctor's who didn't know what was wrong with me, some open minded enough to see the pain and my chalky
greyish colouring I get when I'm ill, and some that recommended that I should just 'take a holiday' and then I would feel better. This was when I only had enough energy to just about manage the appointment before sleeping for the rest of the day. When you're ill like that, the day's merge and at times you wonder if you'll ever feel like you used to, feel better. But I told myself if I became ill I could, by laws of physics become better to and I'd make sure that I would. Of course I couldn't of seen the right people, who explained the reasons I was feeling so ill and offered treatment, if it wasn't for my parents who put everything they could into making me better. Taking time of to care for me, whilst my Dad worked, my mum joined online groups made by other Mum's with ill children in the same situation. It was through this amazing support that she first heard about P.O.T.S and made appointments with the right Doctor's, that may have been in the far corners of the country with their pioneering research, if it meant getting me better. I am forever grateful and moved by their compassion and love.
As I say skip forward an unbelievable 5 years and I'm living a pretty normal life, within my energy restraints. I am now overjoyed to have finished my first year of a levels, despite only being able to concentrate on lessons for more than ten minutes at a time at my worst back in 2011, and I currently volunteer as well as maintaining a fairly active social life. I have to be more conservative with my energy than that of my friends and I definitely feel like the symptoms still take their toll, fatigue mainly along with poor temperature regulation and loss of short term memory at times. But I am aware of my limitations and live as fuller life as I am possibly able to. I might have times when I am better or worse, but I absolutely enjoy every day to its fullest, as I know it could always be worse. I feel incredibly lucky to have such amazing, understanding friends and family around me and I'm sure they've aided my recovery massively with their positive supportive influence.
I'd just like to say a massive thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read this. It is really the first time (after starting this blog nearly a year ago) that I've tried to put my experience with a chronic condition down properly. I've found just by writing I've come a huge way in understanding myself and as well as this hope that by writing, whoever reads this may gain a little more knowledge and understanding of a condition they might not of heard of previously. I would urge anybody who is in a condition where they feel so poorly their life is impacted to keep searching for answers as best they can, because they should be out there, chances are you are NOT alone. I stress that my journey to recovery is personal and what was the cause of my condition most certainly isn't guaranteed to be yours but I just wanted to share my experience.
One thing I will say is KEEP SMILING, you are stronger than you think :)
And... In true Molly form, I've got to maintain tradition and post a song. So without further ado this song sums it up! Not only from the greatest comic group of all time, to my mind, but also with amazingly true lyrics!
'Always Look on The Brightside of Life' - The Monty Pythons :D
Take care,
Love,
Molly xxx
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